אם ירצה ה׳
A crystalline mussar-drash on Rav David Touitou’s cri-du-cœur
“Honor your father and your mother—so that your days may be lengthened.”
Chemot 20:12
The only mitzvah that comes with a visible, measurable salary: extra days.
But the paycheck is not deposited in the bank; it is deposited in time itself.
Tu veux que D. t’écoute ? Commence par écouter tes parents.
Aujourd’hui, trop d’enfants parlent mal, répondent mal, claquent des portes… et après ils demandent des bénédictions.
📌 Peu importe l’âge de tes parents. 📌 Peu importe s’ils sont compliqués. 📌 Peu importe s’ils se répètent.
👉 Ce sont tes parents. Tu leur dois tout.
Descendre la poubelle sans râler. Répondre avec douceur. Mettre du miel dans tes mots.
Même quand tu as raison… Ne cherche pas à avoir raison. Sois intelligent.
Un jour ils sont là. Et un jour, חס ושלום, ils ne sont plus là.
📞 Un appel. 🗣️ Un mot doux. ❤️ Un geste.
C’est ça la vraie Avodat Hachem.
1. The Silent Shoah in Our Living-Rooms
We weep over pogroms and crusades, yet every time a child answers “Tu me saoules!” to the people who once counted his breaths at 3 a.m., a pogrom of speech takes place.
The Gemara calls it abotaï zotavéraq dolaméod—“a gate slammed in the face of the Shekhinah.”
Because parents are the sole earthly address that G’d Himself chose to house a spark of His Essence: “Ish ve-imo tira’u—You shall fear (every) man and his mother”—the pasuk ends with G’d’s signature.
2. Torah ≠ LinkedIn Profile
Judaism is not a résumé of shiurim attended.
It is a balance-sheet of mitzvot cashed into mid-behavior.
If the child who can quote the entire Rambam is incapable of saying, “Maman, excuse-moi, j’aurais dû te le faire avant que tu me le demandes”, then the Rambam is still in the printer.
3. The 1 000-Euro Test
Rav Touitou’s parable is brutal mathematics:
- Descend the poubelle for 1 000 €? We sprint like horses at the derby.
- Do it l’khaVeid av va-em? We suddenly remember our herniated disc.
The Heavenly accountant simply reverses the currency rate:
Every stair-step given for free = 1 000 spiritual euros deposited into the “extra days” column.
Every refusal = overdraft that compounds daily.
4. Toxic ≠ Tragic—Distance Without Disdain
Some parents are marred by trauma, narcissism, or dementia.
Halakha is not suicidal; it demands rèqiaʿ, a safe orbit.
But even the orbit must be gilded with derekh eretz:
- Say “Yes” to the request, then silently secure your boundaries.
- Let them hear honey, even if you must drink bitter water inside.
That is the “intelligent cruelty” the Torah calls hokhma.
5. The Expiration-Date Sticker
The Rav’s closing whisper is the whole mussar:
“Aujourd’hui il est là, demain Zé-o. F-O. L’Olive-Côte.”
In Israel they call it “the beep-beep of the cardiac monitor turning into one long tone.”
Every postponed phone call is a potential lifetime contract signed with regret.
6. One-Line Tikkun for This Week
Before sunset, call or visit.
Open with: “I just realized I never thanked you for the 30 000 meals; may I buy you a coffee right now?”
Then bite your tongue until it bleeds sweetness.
That single sentence is worth ten fasts and twenty Psalms.
“Et profitez bien d’eux… parce qu’aujourd’hui il est là, et demain…”
Today is the only day on which the mitzvah is still possible.
Tomorrow may be Yom Kippur, but it will be without a parent to honor.